Mary W. Hopkins, Ed.D.

The 100% Rule says: "I am 100% responsible, 100% of the time, for 100% of my behavior".

Do you believe this to be true? If you do not control your behavior, who does? How would your behavior change and how would your life be different if you believed this 100%?

"Most people aim for nothing and hit it with amazing accuracy" 

What are you aiming for now? What would have to be different in order for you to risk aiming for something more and believing "it's possible"?

The tragedy is that so many people look for self-confidence and self-respect everywhere except within themselves and so they fail in their search."

~Nathaniel Branden

If you tend to worry about others reactions, alter your behavior to get approval and/or recognition, devalue or discount your own feelings and opinions  - chances are you are looking in all the wrong places for self-esteem.  What would have to be different about you in order for you to start consciously and deliberately  putting yourself and your life first? 

Think about and answer these questions honestly and you will take a big step forward towards personal empowerment and autonomy. Why should you care? It's simple really:

Feelings of empowerment = feeling good.

Feelings of disempowerment = feeling bad.

Here's the key: Nothing good ever comes from feeling chronically bad. It's where we get into trouble every time. In contrast, chronically good feelings lead to good relationships, good ideas, positive action etc.

When was the last time you felt really good?

• What gave rise to that feeling?
• What was the effect on your life and your relationships with others? 
• What sustained that feeling or diminished it?

Now, contrast that experience with a time you felt really bad and answer the same questions. 

See what I mean?